shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
