Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
