saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
