youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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