i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
organizing the empties. That sober.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
3pm strippers are depressing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
