'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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