6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
