I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
