I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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