? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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