Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
