Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
