if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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