Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
