I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
