i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
