Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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