i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize