Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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