so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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