thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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