i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
