omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
