just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I have post one night stand depression
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