You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
