he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize