I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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