That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i love accidental penises.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
