I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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