Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
