did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
