was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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