The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
