yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
