he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
