Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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