My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
