Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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