is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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