Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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