Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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