you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
