oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
