My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
