You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
