come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
