my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
