I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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