If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
