She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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