it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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