There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
