U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
