You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
