I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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