Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
