do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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