She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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