The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
