I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
