Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
