my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
