I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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