I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
