It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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