can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
